Speed Limit: Slow down!!!

“Wikipedia is like porn – everyone uses it but no one talks about it.”  One of my teachers referenced this quote in class as a worthwhile starter for a paper.  I can’t really find any source for it on the internet, nor do I know its origin.  Yet, even though this doesn't have much to do with what I want to go into, I did grab your attention, didn't I?

As we approach yet another end to a calendar year, I find myself once more being reflective – something I tend to do around my birthday, as well.  What’s new? What’s been continuing?  Have I moved forward in my life?  Do I have a new set of goals? Have I met previously set goals?  Am I conscious of my actions?  We all ask ourselves various questions, some more specific and personal than others, but these are a few examples of general thought-provoking ideas to be mindful of regarding the inevitable passing of time.

Society has gone through some changes in the past number of years.  The mnemonic “My Very Energetic Mother Just Showed Us Nine Planets” is relevant no more.  We no longer have to ponder how Osama Bin Laden gets such good reception from deep within caves while ordinary people have dropped phone calls while walking through Manhattan (although the latter part of that sentence still remains a mystery). People have the ability to send casual pictures to their friends with a ten-second window for viewing which of course has drastically increased the number of nudie pics circulating the airwaves - not on 18+ sites.  Basically, technology (and apparently our solar system) is evolving and its exponential growth is having very real and important influences on our society and the individual.

Its not difficult to point out the positive changes that technology has provided.  For example, as someone who lives in a different country from the one in which I grew up the ability to relatively easily stay in touch and communicate with family and friends all over the world is a big plus.  And of course we can focus on some of the negatives, too.  Kids play with virtual friends online and through computer games instead of actually going outside and meeting real-life people (some connect this to the the ADHD epidem…. I’m sorry, I lost my focus there for a minute - where was I?).  

But these are all obvious correlations.  What about some of the other implications and repercussions?  What is the butterfly effect of this growing technologically-based lifestyle?

The other day I was sitting in a class that deals with the our sociological relationship to cell phones and how we stay connected.  I really do love this class and find it super fascinating! (The teacher of this class wrote his doctoral paper based on research that he did where he had a group of 75 high school student participants give up their cell phone for a week and keep a diary of what it was like…. can you imagine!?).  But it’s my last class of the day - a day that goes from 9:30am - 8pm… you can’t blame me for letting my mind wander a little here and there, despite the carrot sticks that I bring each time to nosh on to help me keep focus to the best of my ability.  Mixed in with the information that I was receiving from the lecture were some unrelated thoughts swimming around my head.  In my attempt to buddy up for life and look for a partner, I had been chatting with this guy for a couple of weeks, hanging out, getting to know him.  We kept a pretty steady flow of conversation, speaking just about everyday (yup - I checked - we spoke daily from the evening we exchanged phone numbers).  And at that very moment my eye kept “casually” looking down at my phone to see if the blue LED light would start to flash to likely indicate that he has responded to my last WhatsApp message… which I had only sent just a few minutes prior.  WHY HASN’T HE ANSWERED ME YET?!?!? I sent the text a whole 10 minutes ago… does he hate me? Of course, I’m female and I can get a little ahead of myself and sometimes I can’t help those types of thoughts.  (We’ve all been there, right ladies?).  My practical self told my over-thinking-things self to quiet down and focus on the lecture at hand.

(Editor’s note:  The irony is not lost on me that in a cell phone class, I’m becoming distracted by my cell phone… All of us in the class are aware of it, but what can you do?)

Anyway, back to class… We’re watching a short video entitled “Cell Phone Addicts” when I hear the following quote:

“We are slowly losing the patience to deal with things that are meant to take time.”

WOW!  That one hit me like a truck!  This reality slap-in-the-face was exactly what I needed to hear - both at that very moment and in assessing my current perspective of and reflection on life.  I’ve become so used to expecting instantaneous responses that I was actually bothered by the fact this this guy didn't write back to me in a ten minute window- which even in the cell phone world can still be considered appropriate.  Relationships are meant to be built, not received.  And building takes time.  And rightfully so!  There was no logical reason that I should have felt that my budding love affair was in danger because of a lack of immediate text response (It could have been in danger but not for that reason!).  Had we been having a face-to-face conversation and I had to wait 10 minutes for a response to an innocuously flirty question,  Houston would have been getting a report of a problem.  But the nature of technological communication is very different than that of in-person communication. While it does facilitate the potential for immediacy, it isn’t a requirement nor is it always possible.

I hate the fact that our phones have become reminiscent of those bells that you see in movies to summon the bellhop or a desk clerk at a hotel.  Of course I’m guilty of giving my phone the power to act that way on occasion, but I try and stay aware of it as a danger.   Our society often values the end as opposed to the journey.  What is the final result?  It almost doesn’t matter how you got there.  Cher from ‘Clueless’ changed her grades from C’s and D’s to B’s and A’s by arguing with her teachers - and her Dad was as proud as if they had been on actual academic achievements! It’s the reason we use Wikipedia (pretty slick re-introducing this seemingly unrelated idea, huh?) for quick answers.  Do you remember the days when doing a book report or term paper meant doing actual research…. with books?  We sat in the library not because it was quiet and was a hotspot for free wifi but rather that’s where the information was to be found!  And it took time to look for it!  

We so quickly want to get things done right away.  What if we were to take the cake out of the oven before it is done cooking?  OK, that would be delicious, so that's a bad example.  What about chicken?  It would be inedible! Stopping a marathon before the end is called a jog around the block.  There are just certain things in life that require more time.  It allows us to put more of ourselves into our actions, being more mindful and thoughtful in the process.  Both in the business world and in our personal lives, time can be seen as an investment.  It’s no wonder we have phrases like “The good things in life come to those who wait” and “The best things in life are those worth waiting for.”  Screw the early bird and his worm - the second mouse gets the cheese!  And what’s better than cheese? Patience is a virtue that is worth developing. In these life circumstances where a few more minutes in the hypothetical oven can make all the difference (think developing relationships as well as chicken), I think we will see that more often than not, the ROI will be that much better.

SCUBA!

While I really should be working on my take home test due in a week as well as my numerous other end-of-semester papers, I thought I would take a little break for a blog post since I can’t seem to concentrate properly on what I should be doing.

This week I successfully completed my 2-star SCUBA diving course down in Eilat.  While this was certainly fun and exciting, the culmination of the course represented a lot more to me than just a certification. 

About 9 years ago I came to study in Israel for a year after having graduated from High School.  During one of our vacation breaks, I came down to Eilat with a few friends and decided to do an introductory SCUBA dive.  It was just me and an instructor, wet-suited up and heading under the water.  The whole dive was about half an hour long.  I saw some of the most beautiful colors I had ever seen in my life, I was exposed to these alien-like beings and habitats under the water and I literally felt like I was visiting a different world (which technically I was – the underwater world).  While I called it at the time (and numerous times since) a ‘Religious Experience’ because of the incredibility of it, It wasn't solely positive.

During the duration of that half an hour introductory dive, which to clarify was maybe 3 meters under the water’s surface, I had to come to the top and pull off my mask THREE TIMES for a lack of being able to get my breathing under control.  It’s terrifying.  I think that drowning sounds like the worst way to go and to suddenly feel uncomfortable in your breathing pattern and ability when you are under the water is incredibly unsettling and petrifying.  Mentally it seems so unnatural to be able to breath under the water and remain there for extended periods of time.  And I’m a good swimmer.  I love swimming.  When I was younger I used to want to be an Olympic swimming and in my teenage years I became a lifeguard and started teaching others how to swim (which is still currently a passion of mine).  I can hold my breath under water for a respectable period of time and can even free dive a handful of meters.  But breathing under the water…. Nope.  Unnatural.

That being said, I still had a wonderful time and yearned for the opportunity to once again give SCUBA Diving a try.  I got that opportunity about 4 years later when I went backpacking internationally.  I found myself in Australia, and being a cheesy tourist, I knew I had to visit the Great Barrier Reef.  I signed up for a day tour out on a boat which included a group intro SCUBA dive for about 20 minutes.  I was really excited but gnawing at the back of my head was a nervousness about the whole underwater breathing component.  We did some basic prep and practice, and sure enough as soon as we got just under the water’s surface, I completely freaked out and released myself from the group and gasped for air as I removed my mask and mouth piece.  It was a terrible feeling – one of disappointment in myself and at the missed opportunity.  I felt defeated and quite frankly, I was upset.  I was upset that there was something that I wanted to do so badly and yet I was the one holding myself back.  It was right there for the taking – an opportunity to do what I had wanted to do and yet I stopped myself from doing it.

It was clear that SCUBA diving was not something that I was going to do on a regular basis from then on and it left me with a negative feeling.  I still had that idea that it was something that I wanted to be able to do, but didn’t seem very likely.  About a year and a half after the GBR failure, I went traveling in Thailand to the beautiful Island of Koh Tao - a place in the world that certifies SCUBA Divers left and right since there is so much traffic going through there and the price of the course is quite cheap.  I expressed my interest in taking the course to my Dad who vehemently was against my doing it there to that point that he offered to assist me financially with the course fee if I agreed to do it somewhere else.  In an effort to be respectful of my Dads wishes (and of course the monetary incentive helped), I forwent the course in Thailand. 

Let’s fast-forward another 3 and a half years to a point where I am living in Israel and about to start a Masters in University and very much needing a break from work.  At the start of October 2013 I decided to once again face my fears, head back down to Eilat (not lost on me is that that is where it all began) and take the SCUBA Diving course.  Anyone I had spoken to had let me know that they help you work through any issues you have in the course, and that the breathing issue is a popular one.  Obviously I felt apprehensive, but I also felt motivated, with a strong will to push through the issue.  I tried to get as much advice as I could from other divers and I headed down to Eilat trying to feel brave and determined.

The first part of our course really just involved some light swimming and snorkeling to demonstrate our comfort and necessary minimal-level ability in the water.  The fact that I breezed through that helped me build some confidence.  But then came the SCUBA part – full gear and all – full immersion into the water and getting started.  As I entered the waste-deep water and put on my flippers and mask, a million thoughts ran through my head.  What if I can’t do this?  I told so many people that this was what I was going down to EIlat to do, but what if I have to come back after the first day because I failed?  What If I freaked out again under the water? What if I cried?  Not to mention the fact that I was taking this course in Hebrew and was slightly less than sure that I was understanding everything that was going on. Despite the negative thoughts I made myself give it a try.  I took one last deep natural breath without the mouthpiece, plugged it in and ducked under the water.

Nope – didn’t work.  I tried and tried, but each time I put my head under the water, I couldn’t get used to the breathing rhythm, I freaked out and quickly surfaced.  Of course it also didn’t help that none of the other 5 members of my group had any trouble and they were all making their way down under the water to the assigned spot with our instructor.  Once again, I felt incredibly defeated and this time embarrassed!  Of course because I was the only one, my instructor had to leave the rest of the group and come to deal with me.  As he surfaced, one of my “fears” were realized and I started to cry.  I was a hint shy of hyperventilating and again mentally very defeated.  But my instructor wasn't having any of that and wouldn't take no for an answer.  He insisted that I calm down and breathe normally.  He made me realize that my defensive tactics were just hurting me and hindering my success.  He literally had me close my eyes and make a buddah-like motion with my hands (pointer and thumb together) while gently breathing out (all this in the safety of out of the water).  He then said “let’s go” and hand in hand took me under the water.

With the safety of his being right by my side, and my new calming technique, I actually managed to stay under!  My breathing was still slightly irregular, but each time I felt myself starting to panic, I once again closed my eyes, put my fingers together, and took a deep, slow breathe.  Granted it wasn't the best dive there ever was, but I managed to stay down with the rest of the group, go through all the practice exercises we needed to do and not die.  I shivered through most of that dive but most importantly I did it.  When I emerged from the water at the end of the dive, with the rest of the group, and because I was supposed to – not because I had to – I felt a tremendous sense of accomplishment and pride!  I actually did something that for many years I thought I would never be able to do!  I proceeded with the course as usual, and sometime during our second day, something clicked and I just got it.  I remember on that second day getting ready to go back under the water for that day’s first dive and having nervous feelings again.  I even tried to go under but resurfaced right away.  I literally said to myself that I was being crazy and that I knew I could do it because I already HAD done it – and it worked!  I successfully got back under and thank Gd I have not had any trouble with that again. 

The rest of the course was tremendous fun!  There were other challenges (it’s freaky as hell to take your mask off under water, then put it back on and successfully remove all the water trapped inside….) but I enjoyed all of it and celebrated each success.  Not to mention I was with a lovely group of people who made the time out of the water a lot of fun as well! At the end of the first week, I was awarded my first star.  It allows you to continue to dive but always with an instructor, and to the maximum depth of 18 meters.  This past weekend on Friday and Sunday I completed the course with my second star which now awards me the rights of an independent diver who doesn’t need to be in an organized group to go diving and can reach a maximum depth of 30 meters while diving with a buddy. 

I really feel proud of myself.  I overcame a huge obstacle in my life, that even though it did not practically affect me on a daily basis, always sat on my shoulder, whispering in my ear that I had failed at something.  I’m happy that I had the courage to look this problem in the face and take care of it.  And in addition to all of that, I now really love Scuba Diving!  I can’t wait to go an exercise this new skill and I hope I can learn from myself when I encounter another difficulty by facing it rationally and working through it.