And the journey begins!

I’ve officially been in North America for a week.  4 movies, 3 Friends episodes, 2.5 hours of sleep and a 2 hour layover in Heathrow Airport brought me from Israel to New Jersey for the first time in almost 2 years.   I want to say it’s been nice being home but in all honesty this doesn’t feel like home.  When I made Aliyah almost 3 years ago (March 27^th will be my Aliyanaversary) I went through a bit of a mourning process.  I disconnected myself from my former life and started over new.  Part of that process was saying goodbye to here.  And for that reason, it’s been great being here – seeing family and friends – but it’s just not home. 

My apartment in Jerusalem is home.  My friends and family in Israel are home.  Hebrew is home.  This feels like a familiar, comfortable visit.  And it’s a lovely visit.  But not home.  I love the fact that this is how I’m feeling because it just reinforces how settled I feel in Israel and that is a great feeling!  It means I’ve done something right.  I’ve created a life for myself - of course with the help of my support system which is amazing – and it is that new life to which I feel more connected.  I say that with a grain of salt because many of those components of that new life are in transition now – no more school, I quit my job and I’m not sure where exactly I’ll be living a month after I get back – but I feel like I have the tools to find my way when the time comes.

So what’s next?  Tomorrow night I start my next big adventure and fly out to Buenos Aires, Argentina! It’s taken some time to get here but I’m finally feeling excited!  All the pressures and stresses of the last couple of weeks have hit me hard and it’s been difficult to feel the excitement through the other less than positive feelings.  But there’s no time like the present to start getting emotionally ready (I have a 24 hour countdown until takeoff so now would be the time….).  Since I’ve been in the States, I’ve done just a little bit of shopping, limiting my purchases just to things I need for the trip (with the exception of one skirt which I found on sale for $5 so I wasn’t going to pass that up) and I’m pretty much all ready. 

There are a number of key differences in preparing for this trip in contrast to my previous trips.  Let’s start with the bag.  On my previous trips I had this great, compact traveling backpack but it held a total of only 40 liters.  A traveler with less to carry is a happy traveler, but 40 liters is really pushing the envelope.  That really doesn’t leave very much room for anything other than bare essentials, and I ended up carrying just a bit more in an overflow bag.  I would have been better off with a bag that was just a drop bigger and allowed me to keep everything all is one place.  This time I’ve borrowed an 80 liter bag from a friend (double the space!) and that really sets a different tone.  I’m able to bring more changes of clothing!  I have products that make me feel more human, and more like a woman (mousse for my hair, nailpolish, eyeliner…. Nothing too crazy but some touches of normalcy).  I remember traveling through New Zealand in 2008 and seeing these girls with huge packs and a whole slew of dresses and one-use articles of clothing.  I thought “what the hell do you need that stuff for?!” but I’m getting more in touch with that side of my traveling self.  And the space in my bag allows for that – within reason. 

My amazing friends at my (former) job chipped in to buy me a gift certificate to a travel store in Jerusalem, and with that I purchased Shoresh sandals!  Those, and my new Israeli passports make it official - I am Israeli! People will look at me when I wear those shoes and know that I have some connection to Israel (I wonder if that will be a good thing….).  Other amazing friends bought me other travel-helpful items like a Swiss army knife, a traveling back-scratcher (those of you who know me know how important that one is!), a carabiner and a packable plastic bag water bottle that I can already imagine will make certain instances that much more comfortable and easy.  I think my former experience will be a good tool that will help me on this new journey.  I can learn from past mistakes and successes and let that guide me.  I’m also older (and maybe wiser?  More mature? Jury is still out on those) this time around and I’m sure that will come into play somehow. 

This morning I finally made a tentative outline for my first month in Argentina and I feel great about it!  Of course it really is just a tentative plan but having that kind of intention will be comforting to me so that at the very least I have a point of reference when it comes to deciding what to do and where to go.  I was reminded this morning by a friend that in these circumstances, you kind of plan maybe 2-4 days in advance at each “Stop” and take it from there.  I forgot about that mindset, but it’s a good thing to keep in mind because it works well.  You want to be open to opportunities that will come your way but if you have certain time frames you need to keep in mind or “must-sees” on your list, you can keep focused while being flexible.  I emailed the Chabad House in Cordoba which is where I plan on spending Pesach, and I already heard back from them so that also gave me peace of mind as well.  Things are coming together and it is exciting! 

So I’ll arrive in Buenos Aires (BA) Wednesday morning please Gd and I’ll stay there through the weekend.  I’m hoping to have the occasional opportunity to keep this blog up to date and hopefully send some pictures, too!  I’ll do my best to keep the link posted on Facebook when there is something new, but if you are interested in being kept up to date, just click “follow” on the blog itself and you’ll receive an email with the content of the post each time I write something new.  I’m hoping to have fun and exciting experiences that will give me good fodder for writing material.  I won’t have constant data access and will be relying on wi-fi for the occasional connection, but feel free to be in touch by whatsapp or email and if possible I will be in touch in return.  I’m sure these next 3 months are going to fly by but it will be good for me to be kept in the know as well.

Next up, Argentina!  See ya then!

It's the end of an ERA!

Wow – I just went back and read my posting from almost a year and a half ago (http://therealworldquestionmark.blogspot.co.il/2013/11/re-entering-student-hood.html) just after I started my degree at Hebrew U, and I’m so happy I put my thoughts into writing.  It’s amazing to have the perspective of “after” to be able to compare it to the “before.”  As of about a month ago I finished my class lessons.  I’m still finishing up some papers that need to be done, but other than that – doneso! It’s been an incredible ride.  I absolutely loved my classes.  It’s not that I’m specifically passionate about academia, but I found myself being enlightened by the class material.  You know it’s a good sign when you talk about what you learn about in class even when you are not in class (at least it’s a good sign for me – maybe less so than for my friends!). 

Going back to school after a 5 year academic hiatus was at first definitely challenging.  Getting myself to focus, meet deadlines, read and write A LOT, manage my time and still try to maintain some semblance of a normal life in addition to working (somewhat) professionally was not easy.  But I’m no stranger to a big work load… having been in the Jewish schooling system my whole life – even in college – prepared me for having a large course-load.  But the focus here wasn’t on the difficulties.  There were a lot of positives that came from this degree.  Firstly, my Hebrew improved tremendously.  In addition to my regular schooling, despite my having worked in an Ulpan, it was required of me to take Ulpan classes through the University.  In order to graduate one needs to pass the proficiency test in both Hebrew and English.  The English I placed out of without even asking for it (just as the Israelis do with Hebrew), but the Hebrew required my taking a placement exam followed by 3 semesters of classes, finally getting to and passing Level Vav – the dreaded Ptor Test (exemption).  I feared this test the duration of my degree.  It sat over my head always begging me to improve and find Hebrew function in every aspect of my life.  I am very pleased to say that on my birthday this year (Feb 9) I got the great present of finding out that I passed the test with flying colors!  It was a proud moment for me and I’m happy to be on the other side of it.  The Ulpan classes weren’t the only helping factors in getting my Hebrew to where it is.  I continue to use Hebrew on a daily basis and my surroundings certainly foster that.  All my classes were in Hebrew and most of my friends at the University are also Hebrew speakers.  Which brings me to the next “plus” of school... FRIENDS!!! I actually made some!  I was really nervous initially and at first I gravitated to the 2-3 other English speakers (and to this day I still very much cherish their friendship!).  But I also actually became friends with my other Hebrew speaking classmates.  Great people.  Lots of laughs.  Assistance when I needed it.  And a general smiley welcome every day I came to school.  While during my first semester I described feeling super lost and alone in the beginning weeks, by the end, I felt a little bit like a superstar walking around campus.  I know that sounds egotistical but it’s not meant that way.  I love the fact that I could walk around campus and constantly bump into people I know – new friends, from this new Israel chapter of my life.  Even some of my classmates would tell me that it’s weird that I knew more people than they did.  It gave me the feeling that I’ve been doing something right since I got to Israel because I have this whole new foundation that I’ve somehow very luckily created for myself – of course with the help of others.

I’ve also been able to get involved again with one of my passions in an official outlet – this past year I’ve been playing volleyball with the brand spankin’ new Hebrew University Girls’s volleyball team!  I LOVE IT!!! We put together a new team with fantastic girls who are like my little sisters (I’m very much the oldest on the team and the only one in a second degree program) and it gives me the opportunity to play a sport that I love in the framework of an official league (we are in the 3^rd level national league called ליגה ארצית – translated as National League appropriately enough) with a coach and uniforms and practices and competitive games.  When I came to Israel I made it my business to find volleyball outlets for myself, but being on a team, with responsibility to be there is something different and a whole new level of fun!  When we first got the team together we took a group picture after our first game and it was published in the school paper.  One day, one of my classmates who I didn’t know well at all (I don’t even know her name – we only had one class together) actually turned to me in the middle of class and asked if I was on the school team… she recognized me from the picture in the paper! So having that as part of my school experience has been a lot of fun as well.

So what happens now?  I once again find myself in the position of finishing up a particular chapter of life.  I’ve also been working at the same place since within a month of my having moved here which makes it almost 3 years… unbelievable, hey?  A few months ago I decided I would once again go explore a new-to-me part of the world and go traveling in South America.  So I planned it that after I finished school, I would quit my job and head on over to the other side of the world.  So it’s up to that point that I’ve gotten now.  Last Thursday was my last day at work (another meaningful ending – it’s always hard to say goodbye!) and next Monday I fly to NJ/NY for a week before heading to South America.  I Fly into Buenos Aires, Argentina and 3 months later I fly out of Bogota, Colombia heading back to NY/NJ for another week and finally coming back to Israel at the end of June.  What happens in between is pretty up in the air but my intended route will take me to Brazil and Peru as well.  I’m excited and of course a little nervous for this next journey but I can imagine that it will be nothing short of awesome!

Last time I went traveling I had a Facebook page to which I sent updates… but Facebook pages are sooo the first decade of the 2000’s.  This time my intention is to actually keep this blog up to date and hopefully attach some fun pictures, too!  Feel free to follow the blog for new postings and I’ll do my best to post a link to Facebook with each new one as well.  In the meantime, I still have quite a bit to get done here in this last week in Israel (Purim is coming!) but I’ll be sure to keep things updated!

Most appropriate way to end this post with a friends clip:

Speed Limit: Slow down!!!

“Wikipedia is like porn – everyone uses it but no one talks about it.”  One of my teachers referenced this quote in class as a worthwhile starter for a paper.  I can’t really find any source for it on the internet, nor do I know its origin.  Yet, even though this doesn't have much to do with what I want to go into, I did grab your attention, didn't I?

As we approach yet another end to a calendar year, I find myself once more being reflective – something I tend to do around my birthday, as well.  What’s new? What’s been continuing?  Have I moved forward in my life?  Do I have a new set of goals? Have I met previously set goals?  Am I conscious of my actions?  We all ask ourselves various questions, some more specific and personal than others, but these are a few examples of general thought-provoking ideas to be mindful of regarding the inevitable passing of time.

Society has gone through some changes in the past number of years.  The mnemonic “My Very Energetic Mother Just Showed Us Nine Planets” is relevant no more.  We no longer have to ponder how Osama Bin Laden gets such good reception from deep within caves while ordinary people have dropped phone calls while walking through Manhattan (although the latter part of that sentence still remains a mystery). People have the ability to send casual pictures to their friends with a ten-second window for viewing which of course has drastically increased the number of nudie pics circulating the airwaves - not on 18+ sites.  Basically, technology (and apparently our solar system) is evolving and its exponential growth is having very real and important influences on our society and the individual.

Its not difficult to point out the positive changes that technology has provided.  For example, as someone who lives in a different country from the one in which I grew up the ability to relatively easily stay in touch and communicate with family and friends all over the world is a big plus.  And of course we can focus on some of the negatives, too.  Kids play with virtual friends online and through computer games instead of actually going outside and meeting real-life people (some connect this to the the ADHD epidem…. I’m sorry, I lost my focus there for a minute - where was I?).  

But these are all obvious correlations.  What about some of the other implications and repercussions?  What is the butterfly effect of this growing technologically-based lifestyle?

The other day I was sitting in a class that deals with the our sociological relationship to cell phones and how we stay connected.  I really do love this class and find it super fascinating! (The teacher of this class wrote his doctoral paper based on research that he did where he had a group of 75 high school student participants give up their cell phone for a week and keep a diary of what it was like…. can you imagine!?).  But it’s my last class of the day - a day that goes from 9:30am - 8pm… you can’t blame me for letting my mind wander a little here and there, despite the carrot sticks that I bring each time to nosh on to help me keep focus to the best of my ability.  Mixed in with the information that I was receiving from the lecture were some unrelated thoughts swimming around my head.  In my attempt to buddy up for life and look for a partner, I had been chatting with this guy for a couple of weeks, hanging out, getting to know him.  We kept a pretty steady flow of conversation, speaking just about everyday (yup - I checked - we spoke daily from the evening we exchanged phone numbers).  And at that very moment my eye kept “casually” looking down at my phone to see if the blue LED light would start to flash to likely indicate that he has responded to my last WhatsApp message… which I had only sent just a few minutes prior.  WHY HASN’T HE ANSWERED ME YET?!?!? I sent the text a whole 10 minutes ago… does he hate me? Of course, I’m female and I can get a little ahead of myself and sometimes I can’t help those types of thoughts.  (We’ve all been there, right ladies?).  My practical self told my over-thinking-things self to quiet down and focus on the lecture at hand.

(Editor’s note:  The irony is not lost on me that in a cell phone class, I’m becoming distracted by my cell phone… All of us in the class are aware of it, but what can you do?)

Anyway, back to class… We’re watching a short video entitled “Cell Phone Addicts” when I hear the following quote:

“We are slowly losing the patience to deal with things that are meant to take time.”

WOW!  That one hit me like a truck!  This reality slap-in-the-face was exactly what I needed to hear - both at that very moment and in assessing my current perspective of and reflection on life.  I’ve become so used to expecting instantaneous responses that I was actually bothered by the fact this this guy didn't write back to me in a ten minute window- which even in the cell phone world can still be considered appropriate.  Relationships are meant to be built, not received.  And building takes time.  And rightfully so!  There was no logical reason that I should have felt that my budding love affair was in danger because of a lack of immediate text response (It could have been in danger but not for that reason!).  Had we been having a face-to-face conversation and I had to wait 10 minutes for a response to an innocuously flirty question,  Houston would have been getting a report of a problem.  But the nature of technological communication is very different than that of in-person communication. While it does facilitate the potential for immediacy, it isn’t a requirement nor is it always possible.

I hate the fact that our phones have become reminiscent of those bells that you see in movies to summon the bellhop or a desk clerk at a hotel.  Of course I’m guilty of giving my phone the power to act that way on occasion, but I try and stay aware of it as a danger.   Our society often values the end as opposed to the journey.  What is the final result?  It almost doesn’t matter how you got there.  Cher from ‘Clueless’ changed her grades from C’s and D’s to B’s and A’s by arguing with her teachers - and her Dad was as proud as if they had been on actual academic achievements! It’s the reason we use Wikipedia (pretty slick re-introducing this seemingly unrelated idea, huh?) for quick answers.  Do you remember the days when doing a book report or term paper meant doing actual research…. with books?  We sat in the library not because it was quiet and was a hotspot for free wifi but rather that’s where the information was to be found!  And it took time to look for it!  

We so quickly want to get things done right away.  What if we were to take the cake out of the oven before it is done cooking?  OK, that would be delicious, so that's a bad example.  What about chicken?  It would be inedible! Stopping a marathon before the end is called a jog around the block.  There are just certain things in life that require more time.  It allows us to put more of ourselves into our actions, being more mindful and thoughtful in the process.  Both in the business world and in our personal lives, time can be seen as an investment.  It’s no wonder we have phrases like “The good things in life come to those who wait” and “The best things in life are those worth waiting for.”  Screw the early bird and his worm - the second mouse gets the cheese!  And what’s better than cheese? Patience is a virtue that is worth developing. In these life circumstances where a few more minutes in the hypothetical oven can make all the difference (think developing relationships as well as chicken), I think we will see that more often than not, the ROI will be that much better.

SCUBA!

While I really should be working on my take home test due in a week as well as my numerous other end-of-semester papers, I thought I would take a little break for a blog post since I can’t seem to concentrate properly on what I should be doing.

This week I successfully completed my 2-star SCUBA diving course down in Eilat.  While this was certainly fun and exciting, the culmination of the course represented a lot more to me than just a certification. 

About 9 years ago I came to study in Israel for a year after having graduated from High School.  During one of our vacation breaks, I came down to Eilat with a few friends and decided to do an introductory SCUBA dive.  It was just me and an instructor, wet-suited up and heading under the water.  The whole dive was about half an hour long.  I saw some of the most beautiful colors I had ever seen in my life, I was exposed to these alien-like beings and habitats under the water and I literally felt like I was visiting a different world (which technically I was – the underwater world).  While I called it at the time (and numerous times since) a ‘Religious Experience’ because of the incredibility of it, It wasn't solely positive.

During the duration of that half an hour introductory dive, which to clarify was maybe 3 meters under the water’s surface, I had to come to the top and pull off my mask THREE TIMES for a lack of being able to get my breathing under control.  It’s terrifying.  I think that drowning sounds like the worst way to go and to suddenly feel uncomfortable in your breathing pattern and ability when you are under the water is incredibly unsettling and petrifying.  Mentally it seems so unnatural to be able to breath under the water and remain there for extended periods of time.  And I’m a good swimmer.  I love swimming.  When I was younger I used to want to be an Olympic swimming and in my teenage years I became a lifeguard and started teaching others how to swim (which is still currently a passion of mine).  I can hold my breath under water for a respectable period of time and can even free dive a handful of meters.  But breathing under the water…. Nope.  Unnatural.

That being said, I still had a wonderful time and yearned for the opportunity to once again give SCUBA Diving a try.  I got that opportunity about 4 years later when I went backpacking internationally.  I found myself in Australia, and being a cheesy tourist, I knew I had to visit the Great Barrier Reef.  I signed up for a day tour out on a boat which included a group intro SCUBA dive for about 20 minutes.  I was really excited but gnawing at the back of my head was a nervousness about the whole underwater breathing component.  We did some basic prep and practice, and sure enough as soon as we got just under the water’s surface, I completely freaked out and released myself from the group and gasped for air as I removed my mask and mouth piece.  It was a terrible feeling – one of disappointment in myself and at the missed opportunity.  I felt defeated and quite frankly, I was upset.  I was upset that there was something that I wanted to do so badly and yet I was the one holding myself back.  It was right there for the taking – an opportunity to do what I had wanted to do and yet I stopped myself from doing it.

It was clear that SCUBA diving was not something that I was going to do on a regular basis from then on and it left me with a negative feeling.  I still had that idea that it was something that I wanted to be able to do, but didn’t seem very likely.  About a year and a half after the GBR failure, I went traveling in Thailand to the beautiful Island of Koh Tao - a place in the world that certifies SCUBA Divers left and right since there is so much traffic going through there and the price of the course is quite cheap.  I expressed my interest in taking the course to my Dad who vehemently was against my doing it there to that point that he offered to assist me financially with the course fee if I agreed to do it somewhere else.  In an effort to be respectful of my Dads wishes (and of course the monetary incentive helped), I forwent the course in Thailand. 

Let’s fast-forward another 3 and a half years to a point where I am living in Israel and about to start a Masters in University and very much needing a break from work.  At the start of October 2013 I decided to once again face my fears, head back down to Eilat (not lost on me is that that is where it all began) and take the SCUBA Diving course.  Anyone I had spoken to had let me know that they help you work through any issues you have in the course, and that the breathing issue is a popular one.  Obviously I felt apprehensive, but I also felt motivated, with a strong will to push through the issue.  I tried to get as much advice as I could from other divers and I headed down to Eilat trying to feel brave and determined.

The first part of our course really just involved some light swimming and snorkeling to demonstrate our comfort and necessary minimal-level ability in the water.  The fact that I breezed through that helped me build some confidence.  But then came the SCUBA part – full gear and all – full immersion into the water and getting started.  As I entered the waste-deep water and put on my flippers and mask, a million thoughts ran through my head.  What if I can’t do this?  I told so many people that this was what I was going down to EIlat to do, but what if I have to come back after the first day because I failed?  What If I freaked out again under the water? What if I cried?  Not to mention the fact that I was taking this course in Hebrew and was slightly less than sure that I was understanding everything that was going on. Despite the negative thoughts I made myself give it a try.  I took one last deep natural breath without the mouthpiece, plugged it in and ducked under the water.

Nope – didn’t work.  I tried and tried, but each time I put my head under the water, I couldn’t get used to the breathing rhythm, I freaked out and quickly surfaced.  Of course it also didn’t help that none of the other 5 members of my group had any trouble and they were all making their way down under the water to the assigned spot with our instructor.  Once again, I felt incredibly defeated and this time embarrassed!  Of course because I was the only one, my instructor had to leave the rest of the group and come to deal with me.  As he surfaced, one of my “fears” were realized and I started to cry.  I was a hint shy of hyperventilating and again mentally very defeated.  But my instructor wasn't having any of that and wouldn't take no for an answer.  He insisted that I calm down and breathe normally.  He made me realize that my defensive tactics were just hurting me and hindering my success.  He literally had me close my eyes and make a buddah-like motion with my hands (pointer and thumb together) while gently breathing out (all this in the safety of out of the water).  He then said “let’s go” and hand in hand took me under the water.

With the safety of his being right by my side, and my new calming technique, I actually managed to stay under!  My breathing was still slightly irregular, but each time I felt myself starting to panic, I once again closed my eyes, put my fingers together, and took a deep, slow breathe.  Granted it wasn't the best dive there ever was, but I managed to stay down with the rest of the group, go through all the practice exercises we needed to do and not die.  I shivered through most of that dive but most importantly I did it.  When I emerged from the water at the end of the dive, with the rest of the group, and because I was supposed to – not because I had to – I felt a tremendous sense of accomplishment and pride!  I actually did something that for many years I thought I would never be able to do!  I proceeded with the course as usual, and sometime during our second day, something clicked and I just got it.  I remember on that second day getting ready to go back under the water for that day’s first dive and having nervous feelings again.  I even tried to go under but resurfaced right away.  I literally said to myself that I was being crazy and that I knew I could do it because I already HAD done it – and it worked!  I successfully got back under and thank Gd I have not had any trouble with that again. 

The rest of the course was tremendous fun!  There were other challenges (it’s freaky as hell to take your mask off under water, then put it back on and successfully remove all the water trapped inside….) but I enjoyed all of it and celebrated each success.  Not to mention I was with a lovely group of people who made the time out of the water a lot of fun as well! At the end of the first week, I was awarded my first star.  It allows you to continue to dive but always with an instructor, and to the maximum depth of 18 meters.  This past weekend on Friday and Sunday I completed the course with my second star which now awards me the rights of an independent diver who doesn’t need to be in an organized group to go diving and can reach a maximum depth of 30 meters while diving with a buddy. 

I really feel proud of myself.  I overcame a huge obstacle in my life, that even though it did not practically affect me on a daily basis, always sat on my shoulder, whispering in my ear that I had failed at something.  I’m happy that I had the courage to look this problem in the face and take care of it.  And in addition to all of that, I now really love Scuba Diving!  I can’t wait to go an exercise this new skill and I hope I can learn from myself when I encounter another difficulty by facing it rationally and working through it.

Take THAT to the bank!

Taking a little break from recapping everything that I learn in school (sorry, last week was a bit much), I wanted to share something that inspired me this week.

Yesterday I had my whole morning planned out productively before the start of my first class at 12:30pm.  On my list was a quick stop at the bank where I needed to have them sign a brief form.  Upon entering the bank you need to put in your information and get a printout of your number in line.  I received number 33 when they were up to 26 - not too bad.  So I take a seat and realize the line isn't moving as quickly as I would have hoped but there's not much to do about it other than wait patiently. 

Then this woman comes over to the waiting section and says out loud that she is really in a hurry but needs to get whatever she came in for taken care of.  My first thought - which wasn't just passive, rather I really said to myself internally - was that we're all in some kind of rush.  I don't think that really anyone sitting there had NOTHING else to do after being at the bank, and immediately thought that if she asked me to go before me I would say that I, too, am in a rush.  She then turned to one of the girls sitting on the periphery of the waiting area, just in front of me, and asked her what number she was - 31 - and if she would mind switching.  Without hesitation (at least that is what it appeared like), the nice young girl agreed, and the 2 of them switched numbers.

I have to say that it struck me quite hard that mentally I had been so selfish and unsympathetic, and yet this other person was so quick to put the rushing woman before herself (and yes, the woman was really appreciative). 

I wanted to rectify the situation and allow myself to be inspired and so I turned to the girl, asked her what number the woman had given her instead (35) and quickly insisted that she switch with me as she had been before me in line anyway.  Despite her initial refusal to allow me to switch with her, I was persistent and assured her I wasn't in a rush.  She smiled :)

It's crazy how that brief incident turned around my whole day!  I was suddenly seeing opportunities to help people all over the place (like the woman bringing her baby's carriage down the steps one by one because the elevator was broken, or holding open a door for someone in the library because their arms were full, etc...) and I was really inspired to take an active role in those situations.  I hope this push stays with me and that I can maybe inspire others the way that girl from the bank inspired me - and to continue to help pay it forward, spreading a little more light in this world.

HAPPY CHANNUKAH!

The Facebook

Finally, my 8 years of (varying degrees of) Facebook usage is coming into functional play.  With a modern –day Internet Studies type of degree such as the one Im working towards, it was only a matter of time until we started analyzing Social Media sites like Facebook.  Barry Wellman, an American-Canadian sociologist, has said that “The World is composed of Networks, not groups.”  We discussed this quote in class bringing up the hard to answer question of “what is the difference?”  Despite the number of answers that we the student body as well as the teacher proposed, it was difficult to really define or pinpoint.  Relating specifically to Facebook, there are more simple differentiations.  I can belong to a group of people that are interested in the same thing, or invited to the same activity.  My network is also something I specifically choose, yet it is more vague because I can be connected to any other person who has ever gone to Stern College or anyone else who has ever lived in Teaneck, NJ (or at least stated so on Facebook) and that automatically makes us part of the same network.

But why is that important?  And how does that play out in real life?  We saw the visualization of an interesting study done on the network of smokers.  Through a series of Nodes and connective lines representing people (smokers and not smokers in different colors) and their connections/relationships respectively, we were able to see how over time people who smoked stuck together and stayed in clusters while the decline in smoking also stayed in clusters.  We were visually able to see how people quit smoking together, or continued to smoke together, and doing one or the other was often reliant on the individuals “network.”  That’s just one example but it seems to be a good general representation of how we flock to people who are the same or away from people who are different.  You don’t always need to be in a defined group but surrounding yourself with like-minded/actioned people tends to define our networks. 

One of my teachers mentioned that visibility of “network” is important specifically when it comes to blogging.  He said that blogs only continue to exist when there is readership – otherwise they die out.  I immediately wanted to protest and stick up for the main reason I’m writing this very posting –that I’m doing it for myself  - but I then realized that it’s true… why am I writing in a public forum and not just my bedside journal?  I guess I want people to read this.  And through Blogspot I can check how many people read it (don’t worry – I can’t see who) and from where.  It also shows me through what links people tune in be it from Facebook or Gmail or other.  That gives me another look into my own network because I post a link on my Facebook page but also on my Gmail status.  Only those that I’m friends with on Facebook would see the more ‘in-your-face’ Facebook link whereas anyone I’ve ever sent an email to that also has Gmail (I think that’s the way it works) can find themselves clicking on the link through my Gmail.  Every once in a while a google search will bring a random person my way through the direct content of what I write.

Which brings me to 2 things I wanted to share that will serve as the framework for further anayization of my new University experiences.

In our studies of the Internet and Popular culture, we were shown a new video that has gone viral in exactly the last week.  It is the Google Search Reunion – please watch:

 (make sure to turn on the captions from the bottom right-hand side of the video window).  In discussing just what it is that characterizes a video that is set up for virality, we talked about emotions.  As soon as it was done the other students very sarcastically started saying “Oh very nice, how emotional…” yet I surreptitiously had to wipe away the tears that had dripped down from my eyes (yes, I teared up again when watching it again just now).  It’s amazing how there is such a discrepancy regarding the sensitivity of an Israeli and American student (even taking into consideration that I may be graded on the more emotional side of the spectrum).  I think that could have to do with the type of real life that students in Israel and students in America have to deal with (Army, anyone?).  But the wetness on my cheek was a nice little reminder of another reason that I was a little different from my classmates.  (Did it make you cry, too?)

Another video we watched from a different class was yet another delineation of what kind of role Internet, and specifically Facebook, plays in our lives.  (Am I just the biggest loser that my “cool, new” social media video and info come from School!?!?)  Granted this was shown after we got a privately guided tour of our Professor’s personal Facebook page including profile and photos and all!  Have a look: 

It’s an awesome video and interesting portrayal (please pardon the language), but gets me thinking the question that I already know the answer to: Do I/we spend too much time on Facebook?  It certainly has its benefits, and I don’t think I’m daring enough to deactivate my account, but how often do I find myself in the depths of Facebook, never having intended to get there, about 2.5 hours after I had planned on going to sleep?

Just some random comments on things I’ve noticed at school:

Israeli students dress up.  I sometimes feel like I want to wear pajamas to school, just like I used to see students do in the movies or on other campuses I had visited (at Stern, people didn’t really wear Pjs to class – mainly because our dress code included skirts)  - but that’s not really an option here.  I often see girls wearing heels just because… despite the fact that I normally try and at the very least put myself together, I will never wear heels to school.  I find myself slipping around on the stones in my Sperrys! Imagine what a pair of heels would do!

Also, there has been a noticeable lack of Movember mustaches, at least based on what I’ve seen.  Last year I saw quite a few more in the non-University setting and I would have thought it would be exponentially more on a Campus setting.  Maybe because last year I was around a more Anglo community?  Go figure…

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Re-Entering Student-hood

Now that I'm about a month into my graduate school education, my creative writing juices have once again begun to flow (also out of necessity as I have to get re-used to writing papers).  I'm back in a position where I am asked to think creatively - unlike in my work - and my brain is being used in such a way that it has not been used to working.  I'm enrolled in Hebrew University as an M.A Candidate for Communication with a focus in Internet and New Media.  While conceptually this a really interesting and relevant field, my hardship in this situation is that all my classes are in Hebrew. My past year and a half in Israel has given me the general feeling that my Hebrew has gotten just past the point of functional, and I even sometimes surprise myself with the level of fluency with which I catch myself speaking.  However, being in an institution where I'm learning loads of new information (putting aside the fact that haven't been a registered student for 5 year – although, I do recognize student-like aspects in the "everyday") all in a language that is not my mother-tongue is adding a whole new layer to the learning experience.  Obviously I'm having a lot of new experiences and really for myself, I thought it would do me some good to document what I'm going through.

I remember on my first day how much like a deer in the headlights I felt.  I'm walking around a new campus with people that I don’t know and I'm surrounded by a language that I still need to pay special attention to in order to understand.  As I had previously publicized, I even found myself on the wrong campus at the end of that first day which resulted in my showing up an hour late to the first of that class which was literally on the other side of town.  In my "regular life" I feel pretty competent in my day-to-day (not showing up to the wrong office or apartment) as it would make sense for a regular 27 year old.  However, this new environment is completely humbling and constantly reminding me of how much more I have to learn and that not everything in life comes easily.  (As much as it is super clear, I feel the need to point out that I'm describing a set of relative "white girl problems" and I understand that there exist problems that are obviously more serious - but that’s not what this is about). 

I’ve been pleasantly surprised to find that my fellow classmates have been specifically really nice.  People are going out of their way to welcome me and make me feel welcomed.  Each time I get to know someone new from my classes and I reintroduce myself, they all say "I remember your name and who you are " – I don’t think that it is indicative of the fact that I’m special, but rather that clearly I stick out a bit as a non-native Israeli.

Despite my general feeling of anonymity as I walk around, one day someone stopped in in the hall.  She recognized me from my work and literally started quizzing me about why she wasn’t offered the position for which she had applied after she had interviewed a few weeks prior.  I was a little thrown off with 1, being put on the spot like that and 2, with the fact that she remembered me enough to recognize me in a sea of people trying to find their way. 

What does give me the sense of being a “real person” and, while I’m in this bubble, remembering that I have a life outside, is when I randomly bump into people that I know from beforehand.  When possible I try and meet up with friends in between classes just so I can be reminded briefly of the person I know myself to be. 

One of the things I love - and my chosen track certainly lends itself to this - is the juxtaposition of certain popular cultural aspects that I'm familiar with from my layman lifestyle that are showing up in my classes.  For example, in one class we watched a half an hour clip of the movie "2001 A Space Odyssey." In another class we watched a 10 minute compilation of the "I'm a mac and I'm a pc" commercials.  Today we watched and studied the "leave Britney alone" clip - or Meme as I’ve now learned it to be called - from Chris Crocker (http://youtu.be/kHmvkRoEowc  in comparison to http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aiqkDm9UoKo&list=PL852844F97E22E2AA). Being able to analyze Facebook or SnapChat in a classroom setting adds a sense of lightness to the fact that I'm working towards a Master’s degree. 

I'm looking forward to seeing how all of these will play out in the end.  Will I get to the point where I feel fluent enough to express myself in Hebrew as I would have felt in English? Will I actually feel like I’ve learned and understood enough to earn as opposed to just receive my Masters? Will being in this immersed environment give me a better understanding of Israeli culture and my fellow Israeli cohorts? I certainly hope the answer will be ‘yes’ to at least most if not all of these questions... But I'm definitely excited about the journey getting there.