Turning Tables

No Surprise – I’m a huge Adele fan (who isn’t), but that’s not what this is about.  I happen to live under an apartment where I can only assume that the people who live there move furniture around their apartment for a living.  At any hour of the day or night, it is not unlikely to hear a table or chair (and I wouldn’t rule out a bed or a chest of drawers, either) scratching across the floor.  I happen to have ears that are very keen to pick up noises, but these are no subtle sounds.  I can be lying in bed trying to go to bed while watching FRIENDS (duh), with a background sound of the usual outdoor noises coming through the window, when a SCREEEEECHHHH will puncture my calmness and jolt me awake.  Similarly, during the day one can hear the familiar drag across the floor at regular timely intervals. 

In truth, it doesn’t really BOTHER me.  Rather, it is just another ‘apartment-living’ component that I need to get used to.  Again, this is my first time living not in a house (incorrect English, but it is what I meant to say), and these strange noises come with the new territory.  The way building structures are made here, some of the older places (like mine) have super thin walls, and so late at night, while I’m watching FRIENDS (again, duh), I can usually hear my roommate/wall-mate laughing at whatever show she is watching as well.  Thank G-d I’m a heavy sleeper.

The only noise that I haven’t been able to get used to is the sudden slamming of the door to my room.  I have a sliding door which is only attached from the top of the door post.  As such, as it slides or even stays stationary, the bottom part of the door can easily be pushed into the room from the middle down.  To keep air flowing in my room, I usually have at least one window open, but sometimes that air pressure pulls/pushes the door into my and then releases it so that it slams back into its normal position.  During the day this is no issue, but when it suddenly bangs and wakes me unexpectedly at an hour that I am not meant to get up, I find it a bit irritating. 

I know that some people sleep with ear plugs – a habit that I know of bunch of my city-dwelling friends have taken up – but it is not something that I would want to become reliant on.  I think if I just tough it out for a couple more weeks (it has only been 3 weeks so far) it will become white noise, along with the Screechy McScratchersons upstairs.

I Made Soup!

I’m not THE most domestic person that ever lived.  Anyone that has ever seen my room in Teaneck could vouch for the fact that I’m kind of a hoarder and sometimes I let things get messy (something that I’m working on not happening in this new life that I’m creating for myself) even though I like things clean (myself included – I shower daily).  Having never really lived on my own before, I don’t know explicitly how to run a household.  There are a few domestic things that I do well such as doing laundry (folding included) and washing dishes – both of which I sometimes actually enjoy doing.  A major area where I am lacking in skill, though, is cooking.

Growing up in a household where the Dad is the main food-maker (and a fine good one at that), a young girl doesn’t generally bond in the kitchen the same way she would say, baking cooking with her Mom.  Said girl is me.  I didn’t learn from a young age how to make chicken, or bake a cake or any of those other standard food related activities.  My helping to prepare food consisted of a lot of cutting and chopping… and as a result, I can cut up veggies like it’s no one’s business.  In my teen years I perfected my omelet making abilities, and it wasn’t until I was about 20 that I started making pasta.  I think I made my first hard-boiled egg a couple of years ago.  I know this probably makes me look like I’m some kind of spoiled girl who can’t do anything for herself, but in truth it is all circumstantial.  When I was in college, I was on a full meal plan, and weekends were either spent at home or by friends – I didn’t have a kitchen.  After having graduated, I backpacked for about a year, and in that time I didn’t have a kitchen at my disposal and so I got really good at eating fresh fruit and vegetables, and where I was able, I bought ready-made food.  Otherwise, I’ve still been living with my parents (not out of laziness, rather to save my money in anticipation of the big move to Israel) and I’ve been able to benefit from my dad’s cooking as well as sticking to what I know (pasta, salad, omelets). 

Now that I am finally a big girl and living on my own, I’m being forced into this situation where I need to take care of all of my own food needs.  In truth, it’s about time.  I’m excited at the prospect of learning how to hone in further on my domestic skills.  Thankfully, I have my sister and a best friend nearby to coach and mentor me.  And it finally happened this week! 

In an effort to clean and purge before Pesach, Tehila was getting rid of a whole bunch of vegetables and I took them off her hands.  Once home, I looked at the onions, sweet potatoes and zucchini and thought it would be a good opportunity to try my hand at soup…. uncharted territory for me.  With the help of both my mentors over the phone and computer respectively, I fried some onions, cut up the sweet potatoes and zucchini, put it all together in a pot with water and some spices and anxiously waited (obviously I incessantly removed the lid, stirred, and kept checking in it) for it to be done.   The results were fantastic!  Here is a picture of my soup:

 It was tasty and filling, and I now feel empowered!  I’m excited about having a new meal option in my arsenal and it was easy!  This sense of accomplishment (laugh if you will, but this was kind of a big deal for me) will only take me forward and push me towards making more new things and becoming the chef that I know is inside me (probably hiding really far away and will need some coaxing to come out)!!!

My love, My life..... VOLLEYBALL

Having just survived my first weekend in Israel, I feel like I’m starting to settle in a little bit better.  Really things are going well here, thank Gd, but it’s still hard to think about the life I left behind in America.  I’m doing my best to look ahead and not behind, but sometimes it is easier said than done.  Mostly when I am keeping busy it’s good for me and I’m able to be happy.  It is sometimes in those quiet moments that a memory pops into my head and I get nostalgic and possibly a little sad. 

Those who know me well (or who have had the opportunity to talk to me recently, because it’s been the topic of a lot of my recent conversations) will know that one of the hardest things for me to have left behind was the regularity of my having played volleyball.  For the past 2 years, I’ve been playing volleyball every Thursday night in Teaneck.  It’s just my thing – Thursday night is volleyball night.  I plan around that, knowing that from 8-10:25pm, don’t schedule anything else or plan to be anywhere else because I will be at the Benjamin Franklin middle school gym playing volleyball.  This past Thursday night here in Israel, I couldn’t help but be aware of the fact that I wasn’t playing volleyball (even though with the time difference, my 8pm really meant 2pm in NJ/NY so it didn’t exactly match up).  In the past month, I’ve started playing every Tuesday night in Hackensack at the YMCA, and even in that short period of time I became connected to the people and the game.  No matter what else was going on in my life, no matter how busy I was otherwise or what other plans I had, these games took precedence in my time management. 

Here’s an example: In the weeks before I left NJ, my dad would remind me multiple times daily that I “(didn’t) have a clue about how much there (was) to do….”  I don’t want to stray too far from my position of oppositional daughter, but I think he was kind of right.  Knowing that I am a procrastinator, I did my best to go through my stuff and pack as far in advance as possible, and so steadily for too week’s I made my way through my life’s possessions and started to pack my bags.  Each day I would think that I made progress and know that I still had the remaining days to get my stuff done.  So the week before my departure was no different.  Even though I still had HOURS (if not days) or work left to do, volleyball was still a priority for me.  I played a record 4 games that week: On Sunday morning, for 2 hours, I returned to my former High School to play an alumni volleyball game against the current year’s Varsity Team.  (I’ve gone back to play with them many times these past couple of years and it has always been fun and a good way to continue to play).  Tuesday evening I went to Hackensack to play for another 2 hours in that new game. (The YMCA in Hackensack is actually a cool place and an awesome resource that I feel foolish not to have been taking advantage of for years!) Wednesday night I got my volleyball buddy Leya to schlepp to Ridgewood High School with me for the best game ever with a cool, diverse group of people and a really high level of play.  And of course, Thursday evening was spent at my usual game.  Despite the ridiculous amount of work that I had to do toward making myself ready to board the plane on Monday, it was still really important for me to get my volleyball fix and push my other responsibilities aside.

Volleyball will play a key factor in my settling down here in Jerusalem, and starting to feel like myself again.  I’ve been posting all over the internet and inquiring with good resources in an effort to find a game (or preferably multiple games) here around town.  I’m pretty confident that something will come to fruition, but until it does, I will remain a little on edge.  In the meantime, my sister and some local friends are interested in bumping around a ball (I now have my own which was my going away present from my former place of work – Thanks Steinhardt Foundation!) so that is fun, and will tide me over for a while.  Here’s to hoping that I find something steady soon so that I can continue my own task of finding structure and reliability in my new life!

Getting settled...

I did it! I’m here, living in Israel and it’s official.  In truth I haven’t done much actual living yet and I’ve spent a lot of time sleeping.  The days before my flight (on Monday, March 26^th) were spent packing and stressing out and being really emotionally charged.  By the time I got to the airport I was exhausted from lack of sleep and from being mentally overloaded.  I also don’t sleep very well or much on airplanes so I didn’t catch up on the flight, and the past 2 days I’ve been going to sleep super late and waking up equally late the next day.  But other than that, I guess I’m now an Israeli citizen!

When we arrived at the airport we were met my a Nefesh B’Nefesh representative who guided us through the process of going to passport control, then busing to the absorption office at another terminal, receiving some information as well at the first part of our absorption package (health insurance, a little bit of cash) and then busing back to collect our bags from baggage claim.  It was after that that I was met on the other side by family and friends – it was amazing! They greeted me with gusto, signs and cookies! Being reunited with people that I love and haven’t seen in a long time made up a bit for having to say goodbye to people that I love and will miss back in America.  It’s hard to sort out all the feelings which I have learned aren’t mutually exclusive.  It actually is possible to feel upset, sad, confused, broken-hearted and overwhelmed regarding leaving America, the life I know, comfort and family and friends while also feeling excited, happy, determined, and anxious to figure out what adventures are to come regarding my new life in Israel. 

For the first time in my life, I’m now living in an apartment in my own room (which is kind of sweet by the way – I have 2 porches off the room that bring in a ton of light and cool hang-out space) while being completely responsible for everything that I do and don’t do.  This move for me represents taking an active role in my life, growing up and making headway in my personal growth.  I didn’t just want to cruise along – I’m ready now (or at least I hope and think I am) to be making some big choices and moving forward instead of being stagnant. 

The next steps are now to finish unpacking, pick up my Teudat Zehut (certificate of citizenship – which I will be doing today), sign up for Ulpan (Hebrew classes) and figure out what to study in school for a Masters and where to do it.  Wish me Luck!

I'm leaving... on a Jet Plane!

I feel like a fish out of water because I haven't done this in a while (Eek! How many times have I said that followed by “I’m going to start this up again…”) but I’m now entering a new stage in life with a new adventure right ahead of me and I’m ready again to start sharing my experiences.

As a quick recap, the past year and a half has been pretty standard – working full time in an office job with a prestigious sounding position title and a super non-prestigious set of responsibilities.  As I’ve previously mentioned, I have been sharing a residence with my parents (“A computer, AND a car?!?! Thanks Mom and Dad!” - http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wCF3ywukQYA – sorry couldn’t help myself) and doing my best to maintain a social life while keeping myself busy with non-work and non-family activities.  I trained for my first half-marathon which I successfully completed in Dec. ’11 in Las Vegas.  Most recently, I’ve made a concrete decision which will have the most impact on my life going forward – I’ve decided to move to Israel (I’m making Aliyah!). 

Having been brought up in a Zionistic family with lots of involvement with B’nai Akiva and having visited and studied in Israel quite a bit, I’ve kind of been on this Israel-bound trajectory for a while.  I’ve known for a couple of years that this was something that I’ve wanted to work towards, but it wasn’t until the beginning of 2012 that I finally got my act together, completed my application to the Jewish Agency and followed through with an interview and actual plans.  All of those efforts have resulted in the fact that in less than a week I will be boarding a plane at Newark Airport on Monday, March 26^th with a direct group flight to Israel.  Initially I had wanted to take one of the Nefesh B’Nefesh chartered flights, where everyone on the plane is moving and they have a whole huge ceremony on both the departing and arriving ends.  Instead, due to timing (as they only have those chartered flights during the summer months), I decided it would be just fine to take a group flight where a block of seats are set aside on the plane for people making Aliyah and we will be walked through the whole bureaucratic process with an agency representative on either side of the flight and on the plane. 

There are a few factors that have influenced this particular timing for me.  Last month I celebrated my 26^th birthday.  I certainly don’t have any real age issues or complexes, but in reality and as clichéd as it sounds, I’m not getting any younger.  As I approach my late 20’s’, I’m realizing that any efforts I want to put in to making an investment in my future should probably be started now.  For example, there was no particular vocational growth that would have happened at my place of work (any more so than what I had already taken from it) and I didn’t see it as much of an education (other than learning how to become a professional scheduler).  As a result, I am fully interested in going back to school to further my formal education, and knowing that I had wanted to live in Israel, what better place to do that than in Israel?  Also, going to school in the country where you hope to be living and integrate into the culture, is meant to be a fantastic way to do that where you can immerse yourself in the language, be with the peers that can help you socially acclimate and experience a right of passage, if you will, that others in your own position go through as well. 

Speaking of Israeli culture, I’m very aware of the fact that I need to get the engrained “New York Mentality” out of my head and stop expecting for everything to run on time, for customer service to exist and I should probably stop walking so fast (and expecting others to do the same).  I had my first slap in the face with reality of an unwanted “exciting” experience at the Jewish Agency in New York.  As part of the Aliyah process, you must receive a special visa in your passport indicating that you are moving.  When you go to Israel as a visitor, just like in many other countries, you are granted a 3 month visitor’s visa.  As I don’t plan on leaving in the first 3 months, I need to have a state-issued visa indicating that I am moving and that the rest of the formal paperwork will be taken care of and is filed somewhere in the Israeli filing system.  Going through this process with the Jewish Agency and Nefesh B’Nefesh, I have the befit of their assistance in dealing with a lot of this formal paperwork.  When I went initially to the Agency for my ‘interview’ and review of all my documentation, they also took my passport along with a passport photo in order to submit it to the Israeli Consulate in New York to process my Israeli Visa in my American passport.  The Agency then receives the passport back and it is up to me to come pick it up or authorize their sending it to me by FedEx.  One of the other benefits offered to me was “First Steps in Israel” meeting held by the Jewish Agency to help the people moving understand what to expect when they first arrive, and what other processes need to be taken care of in the first year of citizenship.  Knowing that I had wanted to come back for this meeting that they hold twice a month, I had requested that they hold onto my passport until I come in for the meeting so as not to have to make 2 trips – I’m very efficient.  So, on Thursday, I made a trip into the city to take care of all the final errands I wanted do, including a visit to the Jewish Agency.  I sat through the hour and a half very informative meeting having learned some really good information and I felt empowered knowing I was better educated about the steps I needed to still take.  On my way out, I casually asked if I could sign for my passport so that I could call it a day.  To make an already long story just a bit longer, we collectively discovered that my passport seemed to be missing.  I was initially met with a whole set of questions that seemed to blame me.  “Are you sure that we told you that your passport was ready to be picked up?”  Yes, I received an e mail over a month ago.  “Might you already have picked up your passport and don’t remember?”  No. “Did you ‘accidentally’ click on the link in the e mail and fill out the pay-pal form to have us FedEx you the passport?”  No – I don’t even have a pay-pal account.  “Yeh, but you don’t need a pay-pal account to use pay-pal… maybe you did that anyway?”  No – and even if you would have sent it to me without my having paid for it, wouldn’t I have received it a month ago? “Yeh – that’s true…Are you sure that you asked us to hold it for you?  Maybe you sent someone else to pick it up for you?”  No – I wrote in multiple e mails that I will come to pick it up when I come for the ‘First Steps’ meeting.  “Oh yes, I see that now….”  It was this series of absurdities that led them to discover a few wholes in their system.  Firstly they thought that maybe they never received the passport back from the Consulate.  That idea was quickly thrown out when they found my folder that had a color photocopy of the visa page in my passport.  So at least it had come back to the office.  Maybe it was in the front with security?  No.  A full on whole-office search was put into effect while I quietly sat there, freaking out on the inside yet maintaining external composure.  I realized that my being a mess wouldn’t be productive and would likely only add to the commotion in their office.  I also couldn’t help but think that I didn’t do anything wrong in this situation and G-d forbid that my passport shouldn’t turn up, it would be THEIR responsibility to expedite my getting a new passport and then expedite my getting a brand new visa and still ensuring that I have a prepared passport in my hand by the time I get to the airport on Monday. They kept assuring me that this never happens – which I actually believed because I can’t bring myself to understand a system where passports are lost – and they were positive it would show up.  In the middle of literally turning out everything in her desk drawers, the representative that I was dealing with decided to do a search in her e mail again to see what might show up.  It turns out that there is another individual whose paperwork and passport were processed about the same time as mine, and his first name starts with an “L” and his last name is “Newman” – not exactly the same as Lewy-Neuman but similar enough.  She got him on the phone and asked if he had received my passport – he responded that he had received his own passport by FedEx a month prior, but recently he has been receiving notices from FedEx indicating that they are trying to deliver a package but he hadn’t been home to receive it and he didn’t know what it was because he wasn’t expecting anything to be delivered.  His inquiry to them with the tracking number they left showed that the Jewish agency was attempting to make another delivery – So they actually sent my passport to the wrong person.  Oops?!?! I think so!   Thank Gd my passport was tracked down!  It wasn’t until this weekend that Mr. Newman handed over my passport to an Agency representative, and they are hand-delivering my passport to me this evening.

Insane?  Absolutely.  But in the end, I am just glad that it turned out to be a non-issue from my end, and I’m looking forward to showing up at the airport with all of my proper documentation.  I’m super excited, nervous, emotional, worried, apprehensive and happy about all that is going on.  Initially all those feelings at once were pretty overwhelming.  Now that I’m in the final stretch and just working towards finishing (ok, that’s a stretch – to call a spade a spade, let’s reword that as “starting”) to pack, I’m slightly more composed than I was 2 weeks ago.  I think that I’m semi-removed from the reality of it all, but if that’s the mindset that I need to maintain in order to be productive, then so be it.  I’m hoping that going forward, I will be more composed and productive, and I’m excited to be able to share more positive experiences and exciting adventures!

Lights... Camera.... ACTION!

I’ve written and now re-written this posting about 4 times.  I’m not one to be so indecisive but as I was first moved to write based on a movie that I had just seen, I wasn’t able to finish my thoughts in one sitting. Subsequently I’ve seen about a dozen other movies and each one has shaped my thought process and moved me in another direction.

While my initial intention was to recapture my feelings from during my viewing of the movie Beginners (great film: http://focusfeatures.com/film/beginners/prestitial - check it out) as well as to convey them to my (small) audience, I then realized that doing so was taking away from that movie experience, limiting it to only those moments that I was writing about, and potentially I may have ruined the movie to any future movie-goer.  Often in high school the essays that we as students had to write about the books we were reading were given the critique that they were full of plot and synopsis instead of thoughtfulness and analyzation… Similarly, in hindsight, that is exactly what I had done in my first draft.  Upon further review, my new intention is to convey the way that movies in general make me feel.  Each film has the potential to bring me to a new mental space and shape my outlook and thoughts.  Each time I sit and watch a movie, it is a like a small little life experience happening for that given period of time.  I’m not too dense to realize the difference between life, or ‘the real world’, but movies can provide a setting that we may not actually experience in our own lives and that exposure can be enlightening. 

I remember in college the time that I realized that I was choosing TV/movie world over my own life experiences – it was a real turning point for me.  I think it was a Wednesday evening (America’s Next Top Model night) and someone had invited me to do something (don’t remember what it was) and I gave up the opportunity because I couldn’t miss watching my show that evening.  That was a really sad time for me!  It’s no wonder I can’t remember what that’s nights invited activity was because I didn’t participate in it! But I grew from that moment and that’s certainly influenced why I now have a DVR – no more enslavement to TV schedules.  On the flip side though, I still watched a lot of movies when I was in college.  At one point my roommates joked that I was majoring in movies because I was watching so many of them.  One time we were watching the movie Cellular (silly movie but still entertaining) and the fire alarm went off in the building for a fire drill.  Instead of evacuating as we should have, my roommates and I plowed through the beeping noise and continued watching the movie while complaining that the alarm was a nuisance.  But movies, or anything on DVD for that matter, are good because you can watch them on your own schedule.  But I digress…

In general, I am lover of movies.  Some say that I am easily entertained, but I don’t think that is a bad thing.  I don’t need a movie to be an academy award winning film to enjoy it.  To me, ‘Bring It On’ and ‘An Education’ (2 movies that I have seen recently) each served an entertaining purpose in my life while the feel for each and what I got out of each were completely different.  And that’s the beauty of movies – that they are all so different! There are times when I want something silly on so that I can ‘shut down’ and give my busy brain a rest.  Other times, I’m in the mood for something thought provoking and smart so that my ideas and creative juices can flow.

A little while ago I started tapping into a beautiful resource to watch movies… the LIBRARY! In the past couple of years I’ve visited the library plenty of times to take out books as I was honing my relatively new found interest in reading.  But the Library is a great place for media as well!  My office in the city is right around the corner from the Mid-Manhattan branch and I literally go in there at least 3 times a week…. All the guards there know me!  The best thing about the NYPL system is that you don’t have to pay anything to request an item that you can’t find on the shelf.  I’ve currently maxed out my limit for how many items you can request at a time (its 15), and I’ve also learned that maximum number of times you can renew something (assuming there is no hold on the item) is 9.  I highly recommend the Library to movie (and book) enthusiasts.

To end, I just want to share a handful of the movie titles that I’ve seen recently that are worth recommending:

-         An Education

-         Never Let Me Go (both of these are with Carey Mulligan, who I think is fantastic – I kind of want to be her…)

-         Vitus (this is a foreign film but well worth the subtitles… this may be one of my favorites ever)

-         X Men: First class (a fantastic prequel that really shed light on the others in the series… also surprisingly intertwined with history)

-         Beginners (I referenced it before, but it really is worth recommending)

For the record, I would like it to be noted that I am extremely excited for the last Harry Potter movie to come out, and I’ll be sure to write all about it because it will be surrounded by Harry potter Movie Marathon Weekend including all the HP movies and lots of good food.

Happy July 4^th! Celebrate your independence with a good movie! (Independence Day maybe?)

Middle-Child Syndrome... REALIZED!!!

Middle child syndrome is an age-old malady which I am convinced has been perpetuated over the years by parents with multiple children.  Being a middle child myself, I can't honestly remember a time when I felt resentful or left out due to my place in the chronological order of my family.  Granted we aren't a hugely numerous family (we stand solidly average at 5 persons - 2 parents and 3 children) so there isn't much place to get lost, but we've all been given our shining moments and times when each of us has been favored (as well as given the short end of the stick) on different occasions.  I guess it's also pretty cliché to say that the first child has the mistakes made with them, but along that line of thought I don't think I had what to feel jealous of comparing up, but with my younger brother - who I will admit has many more allowances than either my sister or I had, there could be room for passing some jealousy judgment.  To clarify, an outsider might interpret actions as provoked by jealousy, but as the actor, I would speak otherwise.

My parents (or really my dad) love to tell me that they think I was/am jealous of my younger bro.  He has the more lenient rules, his activities are better parentally financially funded than mine were, and he gets to benefit from the trail my sister and I have blazed by softening up my parents.  Additionally, I hold that my parents are a lot older now (there is a 7 and 1/2 year age different between myself and the bro) and I think they have less energy to be as combative with him as they were with us.  Teenage years are the most difficult in our household, and while my brother has had his clashing moments with the ‘rents, it hasn’t been as bad as it was with us.  As a personal anecdote, I didn’t speak to my Dad for 6 months my senior year of high school and we lived under the same roof… awkward? I think so.  Anyway, why do I give all this background info and stage-setting?  Because despite all of what I’ve painted, I still don’t feel like I’ve suffered this Middle Child Syndrome, and I’ve come out of my younger youth relatively unscathed.  I actually get along really well with both my siblings (easier with my older sister as we live in 2 different countries, and our e-mail and phone conversations are rarely laced with fighting words –and with my brother, I’ve made a conscious effort over the past 6 years or so to befriend him and set a good example for him and as a result we’ve bonded to become good friends, and he’s someone I choose to hang out with {even if he doesn’t enjoy it as much as I do}) and that helps me to be at peace with myself in the family dynamic as well as being happy for those who had/have it better than I did/do.

That is until now. 

The end of school season is upon us, and what that means in our family is that we are celebrating my brother’s high school graduation.  It’s a momentous occasion and one that we are all very proud of.  He’s put in a lot of hard work and it’s a rite of passage.  Never did we think that there was a question as to whether or not he would graduate (we thought he would) but he’s done so with his head held high and he’s leaving with more direction and knowledge than when he came in.  One of the physical ‘rewards’ for graduating is a school yearbook.  And in addition to all the memories frozen in time on the many pages of this special book are “Ads” that families buy to show their support for their graduating loved-one.  I remember the ads that I had in both my elementary school and high school yearbooks.  Both stood out as unique due to my mother’s creative touch and design which made them less cookie cutter and more personal.  My brother took a more active editing roll in his yearbook ad and nixed the original (very creative/funny/cute) design that my mom came up with and opted for something more textually based and ‘standard.’  None of the rest of us in the family really saw what was written and then submitted (again, without our review) with all of our names signed in agreement with the aforementioned words.

Usually this wouldn’t present a problem.  “We love you – we’re so proud of you – may you go from strength to strength and reach great heights in your future endeavors… bla bla bla” – that type of generic, yet acknowledging and supportive writing would have been expected and unequivocally signed off on.  However, dear Mommy made a very grandiose statement in our little Moshe’s yearbook ad and it has caused quite a commotion.  The line in question, which comes after the usual stuff reads, and I quote: “WE LOVE YOU THE MOST.”  What?!?!?!?!  Who agreed to that!??! And what does that even mean?!??!  It wasn’t until a few weeks after this was submitted to the yearbook staff that I first got a chance to see the Ad, and I immediately took issue with it.  I read it out loud to the rest of the family and everyone, aside from my Mom thought it to be peculiar.  Her immediate reaction was that it’s not what we think – rather it means “we love you the most that we can.”  Unfortunately for her (or really for us) is that that is not what it says.  It says “we love you the most” and stops right there.  What makes it worse even is the fact that we all have our names signed on the bottom, so it looks like we all agree!  Hows that for not taking favorites – there’s no skirting around this one – it looks like a favorite has been chosen.

Now, it’s time for me to reach deep inside and connect with the positive thoughts I’ve been raised to have, knowing that my self-worth is not dependent on what others think or say, but rather what I know in my heart to be true of myself.  And who knows me better than me?  I know I’m loved by my family (and I’m very grateful for that – despite what they might think) but it can still HURT to have it written on paper that a sibling is loved THE MOST!

Obviously this should be read with a grain of salt.  I know that my mom would never choose a favorite (although if she did, no doubt it would be me… I’m the best) and I believe that she was really intending her explained message, but we learn 2 things from this story.  Firstly, I have a very good editing eye which should be put to better use by my family (God knows they take advantage of me and my mad skills at work…).  And secondly, Parents, blog-world-wide, should take note to be a little more careful when expressing feelings and support towards their children making sure to step on as few toes as possible. 

And just to drive home the fact that I do love my brother (even though not the most) (as well as my sister – but she isn’t the subject of this story) (can one put multiple parentheses side by side in a sentence? Oh well, I just did) and I am very proud of him, I would like to publicly recognize (just how public depends on how many people read this, so I’m guessing its more of an intimate recognition) his academic accomplishments, and wish him congratulations on graduating (ceremony to take place on Monday evening!) and I kvell a bit from how handsome he looked at his senior dinner! This posting is dedicated to you, Mo!